What were your grandparents like?
What were your grandparents like?
Mar 06, 2023
Because my mother and father separated when I was quite young, and she remarried, I technically had three sets of grandparents. My experiences with them were all considerably different.
When it comes to my Father’s parents, I really couldn’t say what they were like. Even though we lived just a few miles apart, they did not include me in any family activities, or acknowledge our relationship otherwise. I had cousins in the same school district, so they attended concerts fairly regularly. At one concert I boldly approached them and introduced myself, hoping a sincere attempt to connect would be reciprocated. They were cordial but it didn’t open the door to relationship as I’d hoped. Much later, after my Grandmother passed away, there was a meek attempt to rectify that, and it makes me sad that I don’t have any memories of her, and very few of my Granddad. Much later in his life I was able to have a few select visits with my Granddad, and my two children and husband were also able to meet him. He remained sharp mentally into his 90’s and I still mourn the loss of knowing him better as I believe we could both have benefitted from it.
The grandparents I had the most interaction with were my Dad’s parents, who were more “rough around the edges”. Grandpa Bill and Grandma Beverly lived closer by, about twenty minutes from where we lived so I had much more time at their home and yet much less time with them. Grandpa installed carpet and flooring and was so tired by the end of the day that usually we’d find him in front of the TV (and maybe asleep) when we visited. I do remember going fishing once with Grandpa. Grandma had her hands full, because my Uncle David was wheelchair bound and required full-time care due to his Muscular Dystrophy. She spent most of her time in the kitchen, either cooking or cleaning, and then sitting with a cup of coffee, talking with the adults. For too many years, Grandma was unkind (even physically cruel one time) to my mother, and that tainted my view of her and being at her house. Regardless, there are memories of Christmas, Thanksgiving and Birthday parties that are centered on her and her house, and which have helped define those special events for me, both good and bad.
Of all my grandparents, my favorite was Grandma Josephine - or Grandma Jo as we called her. Because she lived in Michigan, time with her was precious. I always felt she wanted to have time with me and that she enjoyed our time together as much as I did. She wrote me personal letters and cards well into college, just so I would know she was thinking about me. She went out of her way when we visited to do something special with us or for us, even though her budget didn’t allow for any extra. She was hard-working, grounded, full of life and laughter, yet also stern and strict. She had the best hugs in the whole wide world - the kind you just disappear into and that make you feel you are deeply and profoundly adored. Probably the best phrase to describe her is “round around the edges”.
